Five years married to Jay… were the words filtering through Schae’s mind as she stood on her back porch looking out over the beautiful garden Jay planted and nurtured. Most days something from that garden graced their table. He also had the boys working with him and at eight and nine they flourished under their dad’s love and care. Schae felt if she walked away that day, they would all be fine.
She had spent the last year, nursing her mom back from stage three breast cancer, Geraldine was doing well and she also had a silent bout with breast cancer while taking care of her mom. Hers was caught early and a biopsy and medicines had taken care of it. The only person she disclosed it to was her husband because she didn’t want it to affect her mother but after many months of keeping it inside, she told her mom and had confessed to a room full of friends, including Cinnamon and Aura Brown. At first she felt free for disclosing it but suddenly at fifty three she was questioning her life and value beyond what she offered people.
She loved Jay, he was a good man but it was quiet love she had never been swept away by it. She also loved raising the boys and taking care of her mom but there had to be more. She just didn't know what or where it was.
She knew it wasn’t where she once was, when she was the perceived gold-digger who slept with handsome paid men for money and pleasure. She loved God and church but still there was a yearning inside for something more.
Jay watched Schae from inside their home and his heart quickened. He loved her, more than he ever loved a woman but he felt she was adrift. After her bout with cancer and telling her friends and family he hoped she would yield closer to him but that hadn’t been the case. There was nothing he could complain about, she took great care of them, they made love regularly and the boys were loved and cared for but something was amiss.
Feeling his presence, she turned to him with a soft smile and wave. He stepped onto the porch, wrapping his arms around her. She could feel his heart racing in his chest. Leaning into him, she hoped it gave him comfort.
CINNAMON BLACK BOOKS 1-14